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Ask Mortimer!
This is Mortimer. He might not look like it, but this running old clip art man is a fountain of screenwriting knowledge. Email us your question and maybe, if you're lucky, Mortimer will respond. If he's not busy having sex with his young wife, that is. Or cleaning. He loves to clean.
Just send an email to: thescripathon@gmail.com. Be sure to include MORTIMER in the subject line, and he'll likely respond back on this page.
Hay Mortimer,
Got a hard question for you.
I've two scripts I could rewrite for this and I can't pick. I got "Levi" Bond meets Alien eats Reservoir Dogs. It's a complicated plot with scenes out of chronological order that makes you keep wondering what will happen next. The other one is "Walker in the Trees" which is a more mainstream horror movie. When Karl's sister is found dead he is haunted with images of her death and obsessed with the idea that she was murdered. Will he find the truth or spend the rest of his life obsessed with a freak accident?
"Levi" is going to stand out and "Walker in the Trees" is easier to understand. The other concern is that I don't know if I can get Levi up to snuff on time but if I had to give you a time table on Walker it would be around three weeks. Ten days if you need it fast.
I don't know, simple or complicated, epic or personal, I just can't decide.
What do you think?
Richard
Hey Richard,
Ya won't have much time to perfect this little baby, cause the idea is you write for a month and say screw it and hit that little itty bitty submit button.
Learn to let go, my indecisive friend. Hand it over to the big guy in the sky. Yeah, I do mean Robert McKee. Just imagine he’s sitting on your lap, listening to your pitch. Which one does he NOT want to vomit on. That’s the one!
Sounds like the horror flick would fit into their Horror slot just about right. And the other might give someone a brain hemorrhage.
But, in the end, it's whatever you can get written in a month that won’t drive you bonkers and gets your creative juices flowing. The juicier the better. The judges can smell a juicy, yummy, passionate piece of writing a mile away.
Passion is good. Juicy passion is better. Juicy passion with a kick-ass story that doesn’t make the reader want to shoot himself is best! On second thought, flip a coin. Always works for me.
Alrighty
Mortimer
Dear Mortimer:
I'm just starting a screenplay, and I love the idea of rhyming character names. I'm a poet, so it really comes naturally to me. Rhyming names is what sets me free. Those similar names have my slappin' my knee...you get the point. My friend Jack says that this is a bad idea. Will you settle the dispute?
Best,
Rhyming Ripley
Ripley,
Reading your letter reminds me of my first wife. We'll call her Stupid. She always rhymed. And I mean everything. I was Morty. Me and my short friend were Morty and Shorty. And she refused to address any of my other friends, because their names didn't rhyme with mine. Lemme tell ya, after the better part of the decade with this woman, I was hittin' the forties. Yes. Forty ounce alcoholic beverages. It was a dark place.
But what could I do? I AM AN ADULT. RHYMING DRIVES ME CRAZY!
Don't rhyme your character names. First, it makes every name completely forgettable. Second, it's annoying. Third...eh...you get it. There's a third. I can't remember it. Too many forties or what not.
Only do this for effect. See: Huey, Duey and Louis.
While you're at it...don't alliterate names either. Make them distinct (like your characters...right?).
Here's what I do when I'm choosing names: 1) obituaries - I read these anyways, the first and only time many of my friends will ever get a mention in the paper. 2) the phone book - it is full of names. 3) Movie credits - steal these names liberally. 4) names of people i hate - very long list 5) names of people I like - this list is much shorter. I exhausted it in the late fifties. 6) grave stones - see item #1
Alrighty.
Mortimer
Just send an email to: thescripathon@gmail.com. Be sure to include MORTIMER in the subject line, and he'll likely respond back on this page.
Hay Mortimer,
Got a hard question for you.
I've two scripts I could rewrite for this and I can't pick. I got "Levi" Bond meets Alien eats Reservoir Dogs. It's a complicated plot with scenes out of chronological order that makes you keep wondering what will happen next. The other one is "Walker in the Trees" which is a more mainstream horror movie. When Karl's sister is found dead he is haunted with images of her death and obsessed with the idea that she was murdered. Will he find the truth or spend the rest of his life obsessed with a freak accident?
"Levi" is going to stand out and "Walker in the Trees" is easier to understand. The other concern is that I don't know if I can get Levi up to snuff on time but if I had to give you a time table on Walker it would be around three weeks. Ten days if you need it fast.
I don't know, simple or complicated, epic or personal, I just can't decide.
What do you think?
Richard
Hey Richard,
Ya won't have much time to perfect this little baby, cause the idea is you write for a month and say screw it and hit that little itty bitty submit button.
Learn to let go, my indecisive friend. Hand it over to the big guy in the sky. Yeah, I do mean Robert McKee. Just imagine he’s sitting on your lap, listening to your pitch. Which one does he NOT want to vomit on. That’s the one!
Sounds like the horror flick would fit into their Horror slot just about right. And the other might give someone a brain hemorrhage.
But, in the end, it's whatever you can get written in a month that won’t drive you bonkers and gets your creative juices flowing. The juicier the better. The judges can smell a juicy, yummy, passionate piece of writing a mile away.
Passion is good. Juicy passion is better. Juicy passion with a kick-ass story that doesn’t make the reader want to shoot himself is best! On second thought, flip a coin. Always works for me.
Alrighty
Mortimer
Dear Mortimer:
I'm just starting a screenplay, and I love the idea of rhyming character names. I'm a poet, so it really comes naturally to me. Rhyming names is what sets me free. Those similar names have my slappin' my knee...you get the point. My friend Jack says that this is a bad idea. Will you settle the dispute?
Best,
Rhyming Ripley
Ripley,
Reading your letter reminds me of my first wife. We'll call her Stupid. She always rhymed. And I mean everything. I was Morty. Me and my short friend were Morty and Shorty. And she refused to address any of my other friends, because their names didn't rhyme with mine. Lemme tell ya, after the better part of the decade with this woman, I was hittin' the forties. Yes. Forty ounce alcoholic beverages. It was a dark place.
But what could I do? I AM AN ADULT. RHYMING DRIVES ME CRAZY!
Don't rhyme your character names. First, it makes every name completely forgettable. Second, it's annoying. Third...eh...you get it. There's a third. I can't remember it. Too many forties or what not.
Only do this for effect. See: Huey, Duey and Louis.
While you're at it...don't alliterate names either. Make them distinct (like your characters...right?).
Here's what I do when I'm choosing names: 1) obituaries - I read these anyways, the first and only time many of my friends will ever get a mention in the paper. 2) the phone book - it is full of names. 3) Movie credits - steal these names liberally. 4) names of people i hate - very long list 5) names of people I like - this list is much shorter. I exhausted it in the late fifties. 6) grave stones - see item #1
Alrighty.
Mortimer
